Early , this morning the front-way was slick with a thin shit of ice. A  woman was walking her three kids outside to the car warned them to be careful and to try and step grass where there as at least traction, but before she could get all her words out, the younger son slipped and fell over a stone.

The older one laughed and asked , "Hey bro are you ,Ok?" and continued walking towards the car. Meanwhile , she stopped him and said , "In some situations words are useless. Are you going to extend your hand and help your brother?". The older son looked back at his brother who was  nearly in tears at this point , and realized that her mother was right.

So , he turned around and helped his brother up and carefully guided him through the grass to the car. On their way to school their mother asked them of the differentiated being nice and kind? They had sometime in the car talking about what had happened already , early in the morning.

This is how their mother tried to explain the two. “Do you see the difference,”  she asked? “Nice is fine, but it’s weak. Kindness is action. You can be an absolute jerk with your words and attitude and still be kind. Because the point is that you do something to make someone else’s experience less painful in this world.”

After looking at it and thinking for a while , I came to this conclusion. There is a vast difference between being nice and being kind. Nice is useless because it is simply a state of being pleasing or agreeable, or palatable. It’s passive. It’s safe. And yes, it has its place. After all, etiquette and manners are centered around being nice to make everyone present feel comfortable. But that is not the same as being kind.

When someone complains that they’re cold or hungry, you can listen with empathy and feel good about yourself for giving your time to let someone unload. You can smile and nod and say the right words to make it appear that you care. Or you can help that person by finding something warm or something to eat. Hope you can see the difference?